He isn’t messing around.
This makes me a Ninja’s Mom. That’s pretty awesome 😉
What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?
Reply
Category Archives: Amusing
Friday Cuteness — How to Pick Up Chicks
When I saw this picture that is floating around the internet, it made me smile from ear to ear. Take a peek and let me know if you don’t smile, too 🙂
Through Your Children’s Eyes
Ever wonder how your kids would describe you?
For Mother’s Day this year, my son’s Kindergarten class filled out a 2-page questionnaire all about their moms. I’m always fascinated to see what my son thinks about me and how I look through his eyes. He’s done this before, in preschool, and it’s always very entertaining. This year was no exception.
A few of the gems:
How tall is your mother? “5 inches, I think.”
My mother is really good at (blank). “Stepping on legos.”
But it’s hard for her to (blank). “Not step on legos.” (Duh.)
Sometimes, my mother and I disagree about (blank). “When I can go to the bathroom.”
In summary, I am a short klutz who deprives my child of basic bodily needs. So, what’s the funniest thing your child has said about you?
Sh*t Kindergarten Kids Say
10 New Year’s Resolutions for My 5 Year Old
If anyone could use some New Year’s resolutions, it’s my 5 year old son. Here are my resolution recommendations for him, in no particular order:
- I will come up with punchlines that are not bodily functions, fluids, or sound effects. As hilarious as they are, I realize it’s important to mix things up.
- I will not describe Mommy’s cooking as tasting like “raw rats.” I do not actually know what raw rats taste like, but I bet they taste nothing like Mommy’s lentil soup.
- I will not tell Mommy she is “the meanest person in the history of the world” after she buys me ten toys but refuses the eleventh. I wasn’t taking oppressive dictators into consideration when I made that remark.
- I will not eat Doritos while playing on Mommy’s iPad.
- I will not give Mommy a daily “kiss limit.” That’s just silly. Mommy can give me as many kisses as she likes.
- I will not treat bedtime as merely a suggestion.
- I will wear pants when we have guests over. Always. No matter how strong the urge, I will not disrobe in front of company.
- I will wear said pants on my legs. Not my head.
- I will not put food in my nose. I will not put fingers in my nose. Come to think of it, I will not put anything in my nose.
- I will not use bath time as an excuse to test the size of waves I am able to make. I realize that gallons of water spilling onto the bathroom floor is not ideal for our downstairs neighbors.
Did you make any resolutions on behalf of your kids? Or do you have ones you think they should make? Share ’em!
The Worst Kids’ Shows
It had come to my attention that there is a LOT of hate out there in the Mom-osphere for Caillou and, well, it just seems sort of excessive. No, I am not going to defend Caillou. His inexplicably bald head is perplexing. His sing-song voice is maddening. But, as the mother of a five year old, I have seen a lot of kids television. And, let me just say, there is a whole lot of crap out there worse than that eternally irritating optimist.
What could be worse than Caillou, you ask?
- Max and Ruby. “This show makes me want to call cartoon CPS,” says Shannon Schmid. “Who is watching these bunnies?? Where are their parents? Does the grandma bunny that occasionally shows up have custody?” This is a question that has baffled me for years, as well. Also, what is Ruby’s problem? Girl is on a serious power trip. Yes, Max is basically mute, but if I had a sister like Ruby, I doubt I’d talk much either.
- Wow, Wow, Wubbzy. I think what’s “wow wow” is that no one has had a seizure watching this show. Flashing colors, horrible animation, annoying songs. Someone tell me anything that is redeeming about this show. Because now, the theme song — which may actually be the very worst part — is stuck in my head, head, head.
- Spongebob Squarepants. “Spongebob has officially been banned in our house due to all the potty humor and fighting,” says Megan, mom of two. Interesting. My son watched Spongebob for the first time this fall, right around the time this happened. I’m not blaming Spongebob for the proliferation of “butts and wienies” per se. Actually, you know what? I totally am.
- Oobi. For those lucky ducks who haven’t seen it, Oobi is a talking hand with eyes.
Creepy.
I have never been unsettled by a show the way I have by Nickelodeon’s Oobi. Take a look at the picture to the right and tell me that isn’t disturbing. I mean, WTF is going on there?! Thankfully, Oobi is on really late at night, so I am not subjected to it very often. (My colleague claims that’s because it’s not so much intended for children as it is for imbibing twenty-somethings.)
- Yo Gabba Gabba. I know, this is a polarizing one. There are a lot of people who really love Yo Gabba Gabba. Unfortunately, I happen to HATE Yo Gabba Gabba. I mean, I give DJ Lance credit for being man enough to sport a neon orange spandex jumper day in and day out. But, there’s an, um, “elephant” in the room. Says Megan, “That big orange bumpy phallic guy with one eye is just creepy. And the songs are about equal to listening to constant whining.” Do you mean to tell me there’s NOT a party in your tummy?
What do you think? Are these shows worse than Caillou? Or, as Eileen Wolter suggests, is tolerating Caillou after all these years really just a form of Stockholm Syndrome?
Alright Dads, the Jig is Up!
As I blearily opened one eye to read my email on my iPhone this morning, I was excited to find that my Google alerts had caught this delightful article outlining what we ladies have suspected for a while: that men are hard-wired for parenthood just like women.
Without getting too science-y, the article describes how testosterone-oriented behaviors can interfere in childrearing, and that men who spend the most time taking care of their kids have the lowest levels of testosterone. Basically, this means that when it comes time to care for the kids, it’s not just women who adjust to the changes- men adapt too.
By itself, I would have thought this article was interesting, but probably would not have necessarily felt the need to share. But since reading it this morning, it seems as though this idea is EVERYWHERE. Maybe it just crawled into my brain and affected the way I saw everything today, but I could swear there were more dads in the SittingAround twitter feed, which lead to reading more Dad Blog posts. This one, which made me smile at how well it illustrated the science, is a personal favorite today: The Joys of Fatherhood
And then came the Johnson and Johnson commercial. The adorable baby, dad, and frog filled ode to family time:
So men, we were already on to you, but now we can prove it! I think this means we’re going to be seeing a lot more dad-oriented, kid products and entertainment in the future, too. Have you seen any? Share! Especially if it’s really cute…we like it when it’s really cute.Â
Transformers + Thomas the Train = Trainsformers
Or, pure awesome.
I often feel guilty about the amount of time my technophile son spends playing with my iPhone. This morning, however, he woke me with a YouTube video that showed me this was time well-spent. This Thomas-Transformers mashup marries the toys of my childhood with the bane of my existence the toys of his.
Op-Thomas-prime? Mega-train? Hilarious. (Note: some of the language in this video is not suitable for young children)
Finding a Babysitter: A Five Year-Old’s Perpsective
Last week, I was working on a SittingAround flyer that could be distributed easily to coops around the country, making it easier to find and recruit new families. Putting flyers in places families frequent (coffee shops, playgrounds, community centers, etc.) is a great way to gain visibility in your neighborhood and let other families know there is a coop nearby!
My five year old son, Gavin, saw me hard at work and asked what I was doing. “I’m designing flyers for SittingAround,” I told him.
“I can help,” he said and ran off.
An hour or so later, he emerged with 15 flyers that he had made himself, advertising SittingAround. My heart nearly broke with how sweet they were. I took a few pictures to share the work of my budding entrepreneur and wonderful little guy:
The real flyers arrived a few days ago, and I was worried he would be hurt I didn’t mass produce his version. Instead, he kept saying how much he loved the flyers and wanted to help put them up. So we went coffee shop to pizza place, eating our way across town and putting up flyers as we went.
I’m super lucky to have such a wonderful little helper :).
~Erica