Make the Potty Words Stop!

Posted on October 27, 2011 by erica

Something happened to my sweet little boy when he entered Kindergarten a few months ago. He suddenly became completely and utterly immersed in the humor of body parts and bodily functions. Now, I get that children, especially those with Y-chromosomes, find this stuff funny, but really? Must every punchline be the same?

“Why did the chicken cross the road?” “POOP.”

“Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “POOP.”

C’mon, kid. You gotta mix it up a bit.

It doesn’t help matters that every other boy in his class thinks these jokes are HILARIOUS. With the amount of positive feedback he’s receiving, these jokes are likely to be around for years.

He and one of his best little buddies have also started talking lately about punching people’s “butts and weenies.” Which, while making me cringe (“weenies?” ick.), absolves me of responsibility, as we use anatomically correct terms in this house. (Also, he shouldn’t be talking about doing that.) I made him promise that he would try to cut back on saying it and that he would never, ever say it in front of his teacher. Which he didn’t. Until yesterday.

He arrived home after his very first school field trip. “How was it?” I asked, a bit too excited for the occasion.

“Kinda boring,” he said. “But,” lighting up, “Ms. L said it was my final warning before going to the Principal’s office.”

“The Principal?! What happen –”

“Butts and weenies.”

I was horrified. Here was my sweet boy, my Kindergartener no less, being warned about the Principal’s office. My upcoming parent-teacher conference played out in my head. The mortification of having to discuss “butts and weenies” with this woman was too much. Gavin and I had a loooong talk about why the Principal’s office is not a good thing and (yet again) why punching people’s butts and weenies is not acceptable behavior.

I think the message resonated quite well for, oh, a good five minutes. But how to make it sink in longer? Is there anything I can do? Or, is this just a normal childhood phase that I need to wait out? Advice welcome.

Tips for Feeding a Picky Eater

Posted on October 14, 2011 by erica

It was my son’s admission that he’d eaten chicken nuggets for lunch every day at school last week that got me thinking about ways to get healthier food onto his plate without the constant battle.

Nutrition is a question that worries every parent I know. How do we ensure our picky kids are eating enough? Are they getting the balanced diet they need? And what if, heaven forbid, they go on a boycott of all foods colored green?

We reached out to parents and nutritionists for tips on getting those notoriously picky eaters to do just that: eat.

photo: tonya staab

Give them a say in planning the meals. Susan Miller, mom to three boys, got her kids involved in creating the family’s weekly menu. Each child would contribute something to the menu that they wanted to eat. “Once they had a little more ownership of the process, they fought me less and were more willing to taste things.” Jill Berry recommends taking the kids along for grocery shopping. “I had good success getting my little kids to eat veggies by letting them choose a veggie from the supermarket. My son loved to weigh the food we purchased on the scales in the produce aisle.”

Get them cooking. It’s not surprising that kids love to cook. After all, what is cooking if not a fun science experiment where they mix ingredients to see what results? “The more hands on they are with the preparation of the food, the more interested they are in eating their own creations,” says author Leanne Ely. “I call it hands-on nutrition.” Mom Shannon Duffy agrees and adds that not only does cooking encourage kids to eat better but also teaches them valuable skills. “At the age of 7, my son was already measuring ingredients and helping make meals.”

Engage their imaginations. Give their food a special name, call it something fun. Much of what kids like or dislike is really just how its presented to them. “Feeding my kids was often little more than a name game,” says Toni Garcia Carpenter. “When it came to breakfast, I found the word porridge to be a useful tool. After all, the Three Bears liked it. More importantly, the term porridge could be applied to any hot cereal. So we had oatmeal porridge, cream of wheat porridge, and of course, grit porridge.”

Serve meals in courses. Break meals up into smaller courses and start with what you want them to eat most. When her kids were little, Ruth Grau began their meals with a fruit or veggie course. When they finished their fruit or veggies, they would have a meat/protein course, followed by an optional carbohydrate course. The result? “My kids now eat everything and love veggies!” says Ruth.

Prepare foods in new ways. Maybe your child doesn’t dislike broccoli as much as she claims; maybe she just didn’t like the way it was cooked last Tuesday night. Think about texture, spices, even shapes, and add some variety to the way you cook. Registered dietician, Kati Mora, recommends “preparing the foods your kids don’t like in new ways to see if maybe they just don’t like the brand, prep method, or just aren’t in the mood for it on one particular night.”

Teaching Charts to a 5 Year Old

Posted on October 12, 2011 by admin

Earlier today, I left my site statistics window open at the dining room table as I went to get Gavin a cup of apple juice. As I was in the kitchen I heard from the dining room “Daddy, I like your painting.” Not having painted anything in about 15 years, I didn’t know what he meant.

Returning to the dining room, apple juice in hand, I saw him sitting in my chair happily appreciating the artistic merits of the chart of emails sent by day over the past month. I like the chart too, because it shows that SittingAround is growing.

: My “Painting,” or notification emails sent by day for the past month.

Realizing that he’d never been exposed to visual representations of information before, I though it would be a good idea to give him a quick primer. I expected his attention would last maybe three sentences. Six charts in, having shown him bar charts, spider graphs, x-y plots, and pie charts, I realized he was more interested so I started to probe on understanding.

I showed him this bar chart and asked, “Which day do you think we have the most signups?”

: SittingAround User Signups by Day

Instant and correct answer: “Tuesday.”

So I showed him another chart and asked “Why do you think they call this a spider-graph.” This time answering like I was a bit of a simpleton, he says in his explain-simple-concepts-to-my-parents voice “because it looks like a spider web.”

Touche kindergarten child, touche. Perhaps I’ve underestimated you.

I ask if he’d like to make his own charts, which gets an excited jumping up and down yes. About twenty minutes and three charts later he clearly felt like he’d mastered the topic and was ready to move on to blowing bubbles on the deck. The following are the charts that we created this afternoon.

TV Shows, using a simplified X-Y axis

: TV Shows Gavin Likes vs. How often he gets to watch them

: Data Table for TV Shows Gavin Likes

Toy preferences, using a simple bar chart

: Scale of 1-10 how much Gavin likes each toy. Notice how he considers my Iphone to be one of his toys.

: Data Table for Toys Gavin Likes

Food, using a four factor spider graph

: Gavin’s Take on different foods. I think this one is my favorite. Notice how we have somehow convinced him that Kale is the perfect food. Secret to that, I think, is lots of galic and olive oil.

: Data Table for Gavin’s take on foods

Gavin’s Summary:
Q: What did you think about daddy showing you charts today?
A: “Awesome, Awesome”

Q: What was your favorite chart?
A: “I think toys, yeah, toys, toys toys”

Q: What is a chart?
A: “I don’t know but I made a chart at school today. Its just a plain old chart, you know, number charts daddy.”

I’m a big proponent of explaining things to kids that are beyond what I think they can understand. I figure it primes them to the basic concepts and words for the next time they are exposed to the idea. It also has the advantage of occasionally finding an area where my son’s comprehension is way beyond what I expect it to be, like happened today.

If you’d like to try this with your own kids, the excel file we used to make these charts is available here. Gavin 5 year old charts.xls

Alright Dads, the Jig is Up!

Posted on September 13, 2011 by liz

As I blearily opened one eye to read my email on my iPhone this morning, I was excited to find that my Google alerts had caught this delightful article outlining what we ladies have suspected for a while: that men are hard-wired for parenthood just like women.

Without getting too science-y, the article describes how testosterone-oriented behaviors can interfere in childrearing, and that men who spend the most time taking care of their kids have the lowest levels of testosterone. Basically, this means that when it comes time to care for the kids, it’s not just women who adjust to the changes- men adapt too.

By itself, I would have thought this article was interesting, but probably would not have necessarily felt the need to share. But since reading it this morning, it seems as though this idea is EVERYWHERE. Maybe it just crawled into my brain and affected the way I saw everything today, but I could swear there were more dads in the SittingAround twitter feed, which lead to reading more Dad Blog posts. This one, which made me smile at how well it illustrated the science, is a personal favorite today: The Joys of Fatherhood

And then came the Johnson and Johnson commercial. The adorable baby, dad, and frog filled ode to family time:

So men, we were already on to you, but now we can prove it! I think this means we’re going to be seeing a lot more dad-oriented, kid products and entertainment in the future, too. Have you seen any? Share! Especially if it’s really cute…we like it when it’s really cute.

Lessons in Coop Cooperation

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Posted on September 1, 2011 by liz

It’s an established truth amongst those in the know (a group growing every day) that coops help makes parents lives better. They save families money, build community, and help parents achieve that illusive “balance” we all seem to be chasing in our lives. But like in any group, especially one in which a number of different households are involved, there are going to be hurdles to overcome. Adam Rabiner, a member of the Prospect Heights Babysitting Coop, was kind enough to write about some challenges that his coop battles, how they are facing them, and the lessons they have learned in the process:

: Courtesy of Andrea Kaplan

My Brooklyn baby-sitting coop formed six and a half years ago, about the time my first child was born. With eleven active members, those who post for a sitter have a strong chance of getting one. Our principal challenge over the years has been to increase those odds even further and to create a coop where every single member goes out and sits at least periodically. Members have voiced concern that it is difficult for prospective new members to feel comfortable coming into a group with a sizable number of inactive members who they may never meet. Coops are based on trust and ongoing, dynamic, relationship building, and it may hard to build up trust in this situation. Achieving full, active participation, though, has been elusive, and in fact may be unrealistic.

Our group has pursued several strategies to encourage maximum use. One is simply moral suasion. At business meetings we’ve had frequent conversations about the benefits and necessity of a fully engaged membership. We’ve also created both positive and negative incentives to encourage use. For example, we instituted a new rule that families who do not go out at least once in a given calendar year will be penalized and those who go out the most will be rewarded. With four months remaining in 2011 and seven families sit-less this year, the verdict is still out on how effective this reward system will prove to be. Our latest effort is to have the Membership Chairs reach out to these families and speak to them about the reasons they are not using the coop in order to explore ways to better address their needs.

Courtesy of Mark Jaffe

I’m hopeful that this last strategy makes a positive difference – but my sense is that families choose to use or not to use a baby-sitting coop for various reasons, some of which may be beyond the control of the group. Members may move away from the neighborhood, remaining with the coop out of loyalty and friendships, but find using it impractical. They may find alternative care arrangements for their kids. They may need to take a hiatus due to having another child, unusual family living arrangements, or life circumstances. They may simply enjoy attending a coop’s social activities and remain members for that reason alone.

Ultimately, it would be grand if every single family that joins a coop chooses to use it several times a year. That’s a gold standard and I’d be happy to see it realized in my Brooklyn neighborhood. I’m waiting to see if our latest efforts to spur greater usage bear fruit. If they do not, I remain comfortable knowing that a coop can be functional, even vibrant and healthy, with a dozen or so committed members.

A big thanks to Adam for sharing his wisdom and experience. We will be eager to hear about Prospect Heights’s progress towards their goal of 100% participation!

Lack of Daycare Hits European Families Hard

Posted on August 9, 2011 by admin

These are the kinds of stories that break our hearts.

In the past few days, a number of articles have popped up in newspapers worldwide analyzing the rising cost and dwindling availability of childcare. Reports from the United Kingdom lament the fact that the cost of nannies and daycare centers have forced a growing number of families to have one parent leave the workforce to stay at home with the children. Sadly, in Germany, in addition to facing the same rising costs as the UK, parents are facing a childcare and early education crisis that is affecting more than just incomes.

An article published earlier this year explains how the fall of the Berlin Wall led to an influx in the number of children vying for spots in state-assisted childcare centers. As a result, soaring costs and limited availability (about 23% of children under 3 yo are in daycare, despite a much greater demand for it) are making it so difficult for parents to balance work and home that the birthrate has actually declined in the last 10 years and the trend is expected to continue.

The whole driving force behind SittingAround.com is our desire to help improve the situation of parents everywhere, so of course we find it sad to think that a lack of balance may be causing people to delay or forgo having children. One proposed solution to the problem is an advance akin to a student loan (as if parents need to pay a college tuition twice!) and there have also been rumblings in the UK about changing the laws to give parents more discretion concerning childcare, which will hopefully increase options. In any case, it will certainly be interesting to see how these countries will look to solve the childcare cost/availability issue in the future and we’ll be keeping our fingers cross for affected parents during this stressful time.

7 Innovative Ways to Make Parenting Better!

Posted on July 23, 2011 by admin

Here at SittingAround, our goal is “to make parents’ lives better.” This goal influences everything we do, from the way we’ve designed our site to how we engage with you, our customers. In addition to making SittingAround everything you want it to be, we’re also always on the lookout for other products and services that will make your life easier, simpler, more rewarding – better.

We’re excited to present six other innovative family products that we think you will love!

Company: Swellr
Site: http://swellr.com
Problem it Solves: School funding
Overview: Swellr is an online marketplace to fund education needs by shopping local. A PTA group can raise money for their school by creating a project on Swellr. A project could include school supplies, field trip costs, guest speakers or miscellaneous costs for an end of the year party for students. Each project organizer then asks their friends and family to buy gift certificates from participating businesses on swellr.com, and a percentage of each purchase goes to the project of the consumer’s choice. It’s a great way harness local spending power to boost investment in local business and education.

Company: Speedbump
Site: http://speedbumpgps.com
Problem it Solves: Teen driver safety
Overview: an Android app that keeps your teens safe on the road. Unlike other driving safety solutions, the Speedbump application – easily downloaded onto a teen’s Android phone –provides parents with instant alerts about both driving speed and driving patterns. Their unique SpeedSmart™ technology lets users set and detect realistic speed limits on any type of road – residential, secondary and highway. Created by a teen for teens, Speedbump encourages a dialogue between teens and parents about driving safety and protects teen privacy while providing the parents with peace of mind.

Company: Casa Couture
Site: http://casacoutureinc.com
Problem it Solves: Children’s ever-changing shoe size
Overview: Casa Couture has developed a patented “Growth Indicator” technology that can be used in the construction of children’s shoes to alert a parent when the child has outgrown his or her shoes. Outgrown shoes are uncomfortable, unhealthy and bad for a child’s feet. This innovative technology is designed with a child’s comfort and healthy foot growth in mind. These shoes will accommodate up to three whole sizes, saving parents from having to replace their kid’s shoes every 2 to 3 months.

Company: Lynx
Site: http://lynxsportswear.com
Problem it Solves: Post-baby breast support
Overview:: Lynx Sportswear makes sports bras for larger-breasted women that actually work! The Lynx Sports Bra was created by a large breasted woman, Cynthia Smith, who started running after her son was born as a way to get back into shape. After more than a decade of trying every sports bra on the market without success, she took matters into her own hands and made a sports bra that eliminates bounce without causing any pain or discomfort. Cynthia is passionate about helping other women feel strong and capable, no matter what their breast size!

Company: GoGaga
Site: http://gogagalife.com
Problem it Solves: Toting heavy, uncomfortable diaper bags
Overview: At Go GaGa, we create diaper bags and straps that are comfortable no matter what you’re carrying. Our patent pending strap is the secret to our bags’ style and comfort – it’s a wide swath of stretch fabric spreads the weight across your back and shoulders, so there’s nothing cutting into your neck or pulling you to one side. Plus, our diaper bags feature stroller straps, insulated bottle packets, a changing pad and 10 pockets to make it easier and more enjoyable to travel with your little one, whether across town or across the country. To learn more about our products, visit www.gogagalife.com

Company: thredUP
Site: http://thredup.com
Problem it Solves: Children outgrowing clothing
Overview: Kids grow fast. By age 17 your child has outgrown 1,360 pieces of clothing. Worse yet, you’ve spent upwards of $20,000 replacing clothes that are practically new. What if you could easily trade all that outgrown clothing for sizes you actually need? thredUP is where moms swap children’s clothing, toys and books online. thredUP connects thousands of moms across America and facilitates simple trades. For the first time, parents can exchange boxes of kids’ outgrown clothing, for boxes of clothes that fit – without ever leaving the house.

And, in case you’re new to SittingAround, a little about us, too:

Company: SittingAround
Site: http://sittingaround.com
Problem it Solves: Childcare
Overview: SittingAround is childcare, made better. SittingAround revives the notion that “it takes a village” in a modern way, through babysitting coops. By trading sitting with each other, families who participate in a coop provide each other with not just care but the social support parents today so often lack (yet so desperately need). SittingAround makes it easy for families to start and run their own babysitting coops and transforms the way parents think about childcare.

Paid Parental Leave: Is Having a Baby a Luxury?

Posted on June 20, 2011 by admin

How much time did you take off when your kids were born?

For me, it was four weeks. Two weeks paid by my employer and another two weeks that was comprised of every possible vacation/sick day I had. By American standards, that’s not too bad. By most other standards, though, it is.

First, those paid weeks that I took are not guaranteed to me under any federal law. According to the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), new moms may take up to 12 weeks off, but that time is unpaid. Employers are not mandated to pay for any maternity leave, they simply have to allow new moms to take it. While I appreciate the FMLA, I don’t think it goes far enough. For most families, a 12-week unpaid leave is a luxury they can’t easily afford.

Compare this with our neighbors to the north and the south. Canadians enjoy a notoriously generous parental leave policy, receiving an entire year at 55% of their salary. Mexicans are guaranteed a lesser 12 weeks off but at a full 100% pay. And, should you venture to Europe, you’d find that many countries there offer a year — or more! — for new parents to care for their children.

As both a mother and a professional, the American parental leave laws are near and dear to my heart. By having such stringent policies, we are, in effect, forcing women to choose between spending critical months with their babies and furthering their careers. For many, financial considerations don’t even allow women to choose — it’s work or you can’t pay the bills.

I think the FMLA could use an overhaul. Thankfully, so do a lot of other people as well. If you’re interested in getting involved in this and other issues affecting families, check out Mom’s Rising, an advocacy group working to build a more family-friendly America.