The Worst Kids’ Shows

It had come to my attention that there is a LOT of hate out there in the Mom-osphere for Caillou and, well, it just seems sort of excessive. No, I am not going to defend Caillou. His inexplicably bald head is perplexing. His sing-song voice is maddening. But, as the mother of a five year old, I have seen a lot of kids television. And, let me just say, there is a whole lot of crap out there worse than that eternally irritating optimist.

What could be worse than Caillou, you ask?

  • Max and Ruby. “This show makes me want to call cartoon CPS,” says Shannon Schmid. “Who is watching these bunnies?? Where are their parents? Does the grandma bunny that occasionally shows up have custody?” This is a question that has baffled me for years, as well. Also, what is Ruby’s problem? Girl is on a serious power trip. Yes, Max is basically mute, but if I had a sister like Ruby, I doubt I’d talk much either.
  • Wow, Wow, Wubbzy. I think what’s “wow wow” is that no one has had a seizure watching this show. Flashing colors, horrible animation, annoying songs. Someone tell me anything that is redeeming about this show. Because now, the theme song — which may actually be the very worst part — is stuck in my head, head, head.
  • Spongebob Squarepants. “Spongebob has officially been banned in our house due to all the potty humor and fighting,” says Megan, mom of two. Interesting. My son watched Spongebob for the first time this fall, right around the time this happened. I’m not blaming Spongebob for the proliferation of “butts and wienies” per se. Actually, you know what? I totally am.
  • Oobi. For those lucky ducks who haven’t seen it, Oobi is a talking hand with eyes.


    I have never been unsettled by a show the way I have by Nickelodeon’s Oobi. Take a look at the picture to the right and tell me that isn’t disturbing. I mean, WTF is going on there?! Thankfully, Oobi is on really late at night, so I am not subjected to it very often. (My colleague claims that’s because it’s not so much intended for children as it is for imbibing twenty-somethings.)

  • Yo Gabba Gabba. I know, this is a polarizing one. There are a lot of people who really love Yo Gabba Gabba. Unfortunately, I happen to HATE Yo Gabba Gabba. I mean, I give DJ Lance credit for being man enough to sport a neon orange spandex jumper day in and day out. But, there’s an, um, “elephant” in the room. Says Megan, “That big orange bumpy phallic guy with one eye is just creepy. And the songs are about equal to listening to constant whining.” Do you mean to tell me there’s NOT a party in your tummy?

What do you think? Are these shows worse than Caillou? Or, as Eileen Wolter suggests, is tolerating Caillou after all these years really just a form of Stockholm Syndrome?

  • Babycakesjessi

    i hate Caliou Max and Ruby and Spongebob they aren’t allowed in my house

  • —–

    Isn’t HATE a harsh word to be using.

  • Babycakesjessi

    they’re cartoons not people! Retard

  • Dolallygirl

    “don’t say mean things to your friends”. -Yo Gabba Gabba

  • me

    What the hell is spongebob doing on here? Stupid over-protective helicopter “parents.”

  • A Nobody

    I think DJ Lance is gay. He acts like it.